Vineyard Ward Relief Society: August 2007

General Manners
~People with good manners care about others.
~If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.
~Don’t walk on other people’s grass.
~Look into other people’s eyes when you are talking to them.
~When given something always say “Thank you.”
~Try not to do things that exclude others.
~Treat books with great respect.
~Draw others into your circle by your acts of kindness.
~Listen, really listen to other people.
~Manners and kind behavior are the same.
~Always put the store carts in the proper locations in the parking lot.
~Be aware of people around you.
~Extend your generosity to those who are easily overlooked.
~Value other people’s property.
~Never share a revolving door with a person you don’t know.
~Do not take your pets to other people’s houses.
~Be patient and wait your turn. Do not cut in line.
~Remember other's birthdays and special occasions.
~Don’t every hit anyone.
~Clean up after yourself.
~After borrowing an ingredient always return the same amount or more.
~Never take someone else’s laundry out of the washer or dryer if you are at the ~Laundromat, have the attendant do it.
~When you borrow something, tell the people when you will return it and keep the deadline.
~Return borrowed items to others in the same or in better condition than when you borrowed it.
~Be friends with those who need friends.
~Until you understand a word, you should not use it.
~Bad language is a sign of immaturity.
~Courteous people honor the secrets of others.
~In church or at a table, sit up straight.
~Give rather than take.
~Never interrupt others.
~Write thank you notes, even for very small things.
~Don't always let your friends pay for your lunch or dinner. Do your fair share of paying. Always offer to pay.
~If someone else is buying dinner, order modestly.
~If you are sick, be courteous and don't get around others to make them sick.
~Be on time, if not five minutes early. If you are late, sit towards the back, don't make a scene and go up towards the front where everyone can see you are late.
~Be the one who strikes up a conversation, but don't have the conversation be about yourself.
~Do not whine or brag.
~Don't tell jokes that embarrass people.
~Do not swear or use questionable language.
~The word "hate" is a strong word, don't use it!
~If you are insulted, say nothing at all or say, "You could be right."
~Always think before you speak
~Other people's private lives are their business. Don't preach to others when you don't agree with their behavior.
~Direct people, rather than dictating to them.
~Don't lean back in your chair.
~If you break something that belongs to someone else, instead of offering to pay for it, offer to replace it yourself.
~If you drop into someone's house unexpectedly, don't expect them to feed you.
~Never comment to someone how they keep their house.
~Open and shut doors softly.
~Don’t put your feet on the furniture.
~Don’t leave something for someone else to clean up.
~When you ask someone how they are, you should sincerely want to hear their answer.
~A good conversationalist knows that small talk, though pleasant, is no substitute for more meaningful discussion.
~Cover you mouth when you cough.
~Good manners are the basic respect we show to others. People deserve to be treated with respect, not because they are always kind or easy to get along with.
~If people are rude to you, don't be rude back.
~Always knock before you enter a door.
~Always express gratitude.
~Always use "please" and "thank you."
~Never make yourself the center of attention.
~Don't tell gay jokes.
~If you are in financial distress, do not bore people with the details.
~When someone comes into a group who is already having a conversation, include them in the conversation.
~It is better to over dress, than under dress.
~To be a good conversationalist, you need to have basic intelligence, a desire to please and a sense of humor.
~Never get so "big" that you feel free to say or do things that make others feel small.
~Don't lend money you can't afford to spend.
~Don't borrow money you can't afford to pay back.
~If someone's fly is down, privately tell him about it, even in a crowded room.
~Allow others to do kind things for you.
~Don’t point out when others make a mistake.
~Be on time. If you are late you are telling people that you consider your time more important than their time.
~The word courtesy comes from the word “court.” To be courteous is to adopt the manners of the court, to treat one another like royalty.
~Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
~Never call someone “fat.”
~Be a good listener.
~Keep noise levels down when it could disturb others around you.
~Don’t blow bubblegum in others’ faces, or crack gum when anyone else will hear it.
~Always knock and ask permission before entering someone’s room.
Apologies
~When you hurt someone's feelings be sure to apologize.
~In making an apology, don't downplay your error. Keep your apology simple and do not hold a grudge.
~When an apology is sincerely offered, accept it with good grace.
~Do not pretend that the offense never happened, but consider it past history and move on.
~It’s never too late to apologize.
~An “I’m sorry” has to be backed up with behavior.
~An authentic apology should be an act of repentance.
~An apology has very little to do with emotions and everything to do with behavior.
~Always have the courage to say sorry when you’ve done something wrong.
Public Speaking
~When you got in front of a group to speak or sing...don't look down...look into their eyes.
~Speak clearly, don't mumble.
~When speaking in public, no matter how serious the subject, it should have some humor in it.
~Include one or more points
~Put enthusiasm and pep into your voice.
Shopping Manners
~Don’t go through the express line in the grocery store if you are over the posted limit.
~If you are in line and the person behind you has just a few things while you have a full basket, offer to let them go first.
~If you are at a store, and you have only a few things, and the person in front of you has a large purchase, graciously accept the offer to go ahead of them
Table Manners
~Don't put your elbows on the table.
~Always come promptly to the table when the meal is announced.
~A child can politely ask for his meat to be cut for him.
~Don't complain about the food when you sit down to a meal.
~You should at least taste everything on your plate, and don't tell everyone if there's something you don't like.
~Begin eating when the hostess says so, or when she eats.
~Pass the food to the adults who are present first.
~It is unkind to take the biggest portion of dessert. Take the one closest to you.
~Don't let crumbly food, like rolls fall on the table. Let those crumbs fall on your plate.
~Take small bites. Don't eat too much or too fast.
~Always thank the cook for the meal before you leave the table.
~Before a meal, always approach the cook and ask if there is something you can do to help.
~Use a knife and fork.
~When you finish eating, place the knife and fort crisscross on your plate. ~Never place dirty flatware back on a table.
~Never drink directly from the milk or pop container.
~When you sit down at the dinner table, place the napkin on your lap. Do not tuck it into your belt or under your chin. If you have to leave the table for any reason, the napkin is placed on your chair.
~Eat what you are served and don't complain.
~When you are eating a meal, try not to act more interested in the food than the people surrounding you.
~Don’t talk with food in your mouth.
~Don’t use a toothpick at the table.
~Don’t use your finger to pick your teeth.
~A teenager should always go to the end of the buffet line and let adults go first.
~An oversized napkin can be folded in half on your lap.
~A small napkin can be unfolded completely on your lap.
~When you leave the table, neatly fold it again and place I on top of the table.
~If you let the serving spoon fall into the gravy or sauce, clean the handle with your napkin.
~When finished with your soup, place your spoon on the saucer beneath the bowl.
~When you eat keep your elbows close to your body.
~If you serve someone a grapefruit, section it for them.
~When eating soup, spoon away from your body.
~It is polite to stay seated at the dinner table until everyone is finished eating.
~Don't try to hurry the last person eating.
~After a meal sit, relax, visit and enjoy each other's company.
~When you need to leave the table say "May I be excused?"
~Always clear your dishes from the table, and then go back, clear and put leftovers away.
~Many memories are centered around meal time. Do all you can to make it pleasant.
~Never salt your food until you taste it.
~Your outside fork is the one you eat your salad with.
~If you are a vegetarian or have food limitations, don’t act like you need to be coddled. It is appropriate to softly let people know of your limitations before you eat dinner at their house.
~Do not cut spaghetti, you should twist it up with the help of a spoon.
Gentlemen
~Gentlemen are considerate of others and try to make life easier for others.
~A gentleman should help the woman to the right of him as she sits or rises from her chair.
~A gentleman never corrects other people's grammar, but monitors his own.
~Gentlemen should give up their seat to someone who needs it.
~Always put the toilet seat and lid down.
~Flush the toilet, wipe off the seat if needed.
~A gentleman's pants cuffs fall in a gentle break over his shoes. When he stands, his socks do not show.
~For men, black shoes are more serious than brown.
~A gentleman does not adjust his crotch in public.
~A gentleman never wears a belt when he is wearing suspenders.
~When a gentleman wears a cummerbund, the pleats are always turned up.
~You should never wear a tuxedo before six o'clock.
~A gentleman never colors his hair.
~When a gentleman wears a vest, the bottom button is always undone.
~A gentleman has never been seated next to a boring person at dinner. Neither has he ever been seated beside a person who has been bored.
~A gentleman always walks slightly behind the woman he is with.
~Gentlemen should always open doors for others.
~A gentleman does not touch other people’s children, unless he is invited to do so.
~A gentleman always glances behind him when he walks through a door.
Ladies
~Don’t spit in public.
~Don’t pick your teeth in public.
~Don’t fiddle with your nails in public.
~Don’t comb your hair in public.
~Don’t put your makeup on in front of others.
Children
~Children should give up their seat to someone who needs it.
~When you slump down in your chair, it shows disinterest and disrespect.
~If you have a sick child, do not leave it with a hired baby-sitter.
~If you want to speak with children, kneel down to their eye level, and look into their eyes.
~You shouldn’t call adults by their first name.
~When a child meets an adult, have them extend their arm to shake hands.
~Teach a child not to stare at a person with a handicap, rather, explain the handicap to the child so they will understand and tell them that they can’t help being that way.
~When your parents ask you to do something, do it cheerfully and well, the tasks are easier and accomplished faster that way.
~Do not overexcite children.
Service
~In situations where service is involved, be sensitive to when you are needed and not needed.
~Offer to help someone who looks like they need help.
~Don't assume others will go the extra mile. Try not to expect too much from others, you might get disappointed.
Sportsmanship
~Be a good sport. No one like to be around someone who can't lose without arguing, sulking or claiming that his opponent cheat
~If you are older and let your little brothers and sisters win or play with your toys. This will build character.
~In a game if the referee's decision is against you and you disagree, don't contest it.
~Whenever you leave a playing field, leave it better condition than when you found it.
~Don’t go through life blaming all the lost games on poor referees.
~Don’t taunt the opposing team when you win.
~Be a good winner and a good looser.
Theater Manners
~In a movie, once the lights are out and the screen is lit, that is signal to be quiet.
~In a movie theater, don't drape your legs over the seats in front of you, even if the seats are invitingly empty.
~After a movie, you should always throw your garbage away, never leave it down on the floor.
~When you are scooting down a row of a crowded theater, you face the people in their seats, you don't have your backside to them.
~If you attending alive musical and you are late, wait until the performance is in between numbers to enter or wait until the usher allows you to enter the theater.
~At a concert or musical performance, if you are unsure when to applaud, wait so you are not starting an ovation alone.
~When an orchestra is being led by a maestro, you should wait to applaud until he/she steps off the podium.
Driving Manners
~When driving, do not honk at others unless it is an emergency.
~Do not take a parking place someone else is waiting for.
~Obey all signs they have a purpose.
~Use your turn signal.
~When getting out of your car, don’t bang the cars next to you with your door. ~If you do scratch the car, it is appropriate to leave a note with your name and number, if you think it is bad enough that you should pay for damages.
House Guests
~When you are a guest in a household, try to fit into their routine. Arise and go to bed when they do.
~Make sure you make the bed.
~Tidy the room before leaving for the day.
~Stick with your arrival and departure times
~Only leave pleasant memories behind.
~If someone is staying at your house, it is completely acceptable to ask them to help out.
~A good host will make guests feel glad they visited and eager to come again.
~Stay off your host's telephone.
~Use a calling card to make long distance calls.
~If you break something, report it immediately.
~When you leave, write a warm, personal letter of thanks, mention details of things that please you. It is also nice to send a gift, if you didn't bring one with you.
Politics, Religion and Church
~Don't assume that everyone agrees on politics or religion.
~A woman should wear a dress to church, but it is better to have a woman attend church in pants than not come at all.
~In church, keep your hymn book open until the song is completely over, then close the book.
~Don't whisper to your neighbor in church.
~If a baby is crying, and you can't calm it down, take it out of church.
~Sit up straight, don't slouch in church, it shows that you have an "I don't care attitude."
~Pray or have a prayer in your heart, before walking into a sacred place like a church or temple.
~Whenever you have a practice or event in a church's chapel, wear Sunday clothes. It shows respect and reminds you how to act.
~Boys and men should never wear white socks with dark pants to church.
Telephone
~If you tell someone you will call them, call.
~Do not call people during the dinner hour.
~When calling on the phone don't expect people to recognize your voice, always say who you are.
~When you talk to an answering machine, you should always say your phone number twice.
~After business hours never take your cell phone into a restaurant.
~When you leave a message for someone, and it is not returned, it is appropriate to call a second time. Then leave it at that.
~Do not answer the phone during dinner. When you are entertaining, ask if you can return the call later.
~Don't call after 9:30 at night.
~When you dial a wrong number say, “I’m sorry” or “Excuse me.”
~Turn off cell phone when you are in a theater, church or other quiet place.
~When answering the phone and it is not for you, but the wanted person picked up another phone and is already talking, hang up immediately and do not listen to the conversation.
~When someone calls, you never say, “Who is this?” Rather, say “May I ask who’s calling?”
~If you need to take a message, write it down.
Honesty
~Never use school or work items for your personal usage.
~Be "up front" at all times with everyone. If you are honest, friendly, and cheerful, you'll find that things will go well for you.
~Honesty is speaking the right truth to the right person at the right time in the right way for the right reason.
~Not every person needs to know the truth. Some seasons call for tactful silence.
Cleanliness and Hygiene
~Never wear the same cloths two days in a row.
~Cologne should not be used for a substitute for deodorant.
~Don't burp or fuff in front of others. If you do, and it was obvious that it was you, just say excuse me. If it is not obvious it was you, don't draw attention to you and just ignore it. If someone else burps or fuffs, ignore it, don't draw any attention to it. They probably already feel embarrassed.
~Carry breath mints, and don't feel resistant to offer then to others.
~If you have athlete’s food, wear shower shoes at the gym.
~When you shave, rinse the sink or tub out.
~Use a tissue. Don’t pick your nose.
~When you walk a dog, carry a plastic bag and be responsible for his/her droppings
Invitations and Party Manners
~RSVP (reply if you please).
~If you RSVPed and said that you can't come, and then later find out you can, it is okay to call back and let them know you can come.
~If you receive many invitations for the same time, you should accept the first.
~If you are invited to a party, do your part to have a good time and make it a success.
~Don't be more than 15 minutes late for a party. If you will be more than 15 minutes late it is proper etiquette to call and let the hostess know.
~Don't "pig out" at parties.
~Do not take a date to a party if you weren't instructed to bring a guest.
~When you are offered a name tag, put it on.
~At a party, don't spend all your time just talking to one individual.
~If there are coasters available, use them.
~When you are invited to someone's house you bring a gift, which is always handed to the host or hostess.
~Always send a thank you note after being invited to someone's home.
~When you seat people at a dinner table, put people that are compatible by each other. Usually couples are not seated side by side. This helps people mix more with one another.
~Honored guests are usually given the best seat (which has the best view of the room) at the dinner table.
~The guest of honor is usually seated to the right of the host.
~The second most important guest sits to the left of the host.
~When you have a guest over for dinner, never rush them away from the table if they are talking.
~Don't expect guests to stay after and help you clean up. If they offer you can accept or decline it.
~You should RSVP if you are or are not going to an invited event. If the invitation says, "regrets only" you call only if you can't come.
~When you RSVP, and you cannot attend, you give a straight forward reason, i.e., "I have a prior engagement" or "I will have guests from out of town" or "I will be away on vacation."
~When you are invited to a party, it is bad manners to ask who else will be there. Have fun with whomever will be there.
~When it comes to dinner candles, the color white is always right.
~If you are having a party and you have a buffet, don't be the first one in line.
~If you are a guest at someone's home for a meal, you shouldn't say, "I think we should say a prayer." It is better to say a prayer to yourself quietly.
~If guests come to your home it is appropriate to say, "We'd like to say a prayer to bless the food, if you'd like to join us."
~A good host is a kind person, one who really cares about the comfort and enjoyment of the guests.
~If you invite someone over to dinner and they are really late, begin the dinner without them.
~After dinner a guest may leave within half an hour.
~If guests are staying too late, it is okay to invite them to leave with something like, "Some of us have to run the world tomorrow, so we have to get some sleep."
~The best thing to have when inviting guests over is good conversation.
~Great hospitality does not depend on the sized of the budget, it depends on one's attitude.
~Avoid extending last minute invitations when you have invited everyone else far in advance.
~When you entertain, make people feel at ease, don't try to impress them.
~Always greet your guests at the door.
~If there is a guest at a party that is not being included, go over and introduce yourself and strike up a conversation with them.
~At a party, don't make a big deal out of things that may be broken or scratched. If someone offers to pay for the damage, you should not accept the offer.
~If someone offers you alcohol at a party, just say, "Thanks, but I don't drink alcohol. I'd like a soda or some sparkling water-whatever is handy." You offer no further explanation.
~At a birthday party, the honored person should thank each person for the present received. Never let someone know if you already have that gift.
~The host should say good-bye to each guest, and say, "Thank you for coming to my party."
~Invite the least popular classmate to you party, simply because that person is probably only rarely invited anywhere, and it would mean so much. Then make them feel welcome and part of the group.
~When you are at a dance, do your part. If you are a boy, you should ask several different girls to dance. If you are a girl, accept the invitation.
~Thank the hostess who is giving the party or has invited you to dinner.
Births
~When you receive a birth announcement, you do not have to send a gift. ~However, a congratulatory note or telephone call is certainly in order.
~It is nice to send the newly arrived adopted child a present.
Gifts
~When you bring someone a gift, it does not have to be opened in your presence.
~Bosses should not expect a gift in return if they give you a gift.
~Just because someone gives you a Christmas gift, doesn't mean that you need to run to the store and get them one.
~Do not feel obligated when someone you don't know well sends you something.
~Accept gifts graciously, never make a scene.
~Be a good receiver.
Business
~Write a thank you note to anyone who allows you to use them as a reference, or to anyone who made a call or wrote a letter on your behalf.
~In an interview you should dress how you would for a day at the office.
~When interviewing for a job, always look really nice. If you are dressed sloppily, they will think that you don't care.
~After an interview, you always write a thank you note.
~When you resign from a job, do not burn bridges.
~If you are going to be more than 5 minutes late for a business appointment, call ahead.
~When you are on a business trip, do not abuse the business account.
~If you are at a meeting or a party, you don't need to announce to everyone that you need to leave to go to the bathroom. Just say, "I'll be back in a minute."
~If a boss wants to thank his secretary, it is appropriate to send a plant or flower to her desk at work, not her home.
Weddings and Engagements
~If you are a bride or groom, you can say things like: "Thank you so much," "Glad you were here with us today," "It meant a lot to us to have you here."
~The faster you move through a wedding line, the better it is for everyone.
~Men should never wear brown shoes to a funeral or a wedding. Black is appropriate.
~When attending a wedding, don't dress in such a way as to outshine the bride and groom.
~When an engagement is broken, the ring should be given back.
~Wedding invitations should be sent out six to eight weeks in advance. LDS weddings usually three to four weeks in advance.
~If you are invited to a wedding, you should not bring a date if the bride and groom do not know him or her. It is extremely rude.
~If your children’s names are not on a wedding invitation or it doesn't say "family," do not bring your children to the wedding.
~For formal wedding invitations, address the envelopes using black ink. Wrote out the words, "Street" and "Avenue."
~Thank you notes for wedding gifts should be written within two to three weeks, if possible.
~The latest someone should receive a thank you note for a wedding present would be three months.
~When you go to a wedding reception, comment to the bride what a beautiful, stunning wedding it is.
~Tell the bride she looks beautiful.
~Congratulate both bride and groom and say something like, "I wish you all the happiness in the world."
Compliments
~Don’t just think about compliments, say them.
~When you receive a compliment, say, "Thank you...that was very thoughtful of you to say."
Funerals
~Men should never wear brown shoes to a funeral or a wedding. Black is appropriate.
~When you go to a funeral, dress conservative. Men should wear quiet ties. ~Women should wear simple dresses and shoes.
~Two ways to help at a funeral would be: help in the kitchen, or help take care of small children.
~When someone is grieving over a death never say, "Please let me know if there is anything I can do." Leave it to the grieving person to ask for help. Instead, be aware and offer to do something for them like bring in a meal, run an errand or watch the house while the family is away.
~Keep your remarks simple out of respect for the grieving person’s emotions.
Hospital Visits
~When you visit someone in the hospital, some good gifts are: plants, restaurant certificates, an exciting book, tape or cassette, nice soap or lotion or cologne, thank you notes or fashion magazines, dressing gown, nightgown or pajamas.
~When you visit someone in the hospital let the person who is ill take the lead as to whether you need to do all the talking are most of the listening.
~Don’t stay too long.
Restaurant Manners
~Never chew on ice when you are at a restaurant.
~If you want a dessert at a restaurant, don't just be the one that has others order and tastes everyone else's. If you want a dessert, order it.
~After business hours never take your cell phone into a restaurant.
~When you go to a restaurant, and you are the first person served, wait until everyone has their food before you start to eat.
~When you finish a salad, place your fork on the salad plate to be taken away.
Tipping
~You can tip hotel maids. One or two dollars a night is good.
~The tip you leave is between you and the server.
~Never brag about your generous tip.
~If service was inferior, do not inform your guests that you plan to leave a small tip.
~When you go to a restaurant, leave a 15% tip. If you feel the service was excellent, leave a 20% tip. If it was bad, feel free to leave a 10% tip.
Correspondence
~Put return addresses on the front of the envelope, not the back flap.
~If you have a complaint in a letter, state it firmly and clearly, without emotion. ~That will be most effective.
~Write a note to someone you love who has received good news, or to someone who has received bad news.
Introductions
~When you are introducing people, remember that the yo9ungest or the least important is introduced to the older and more important.
~If they are the same age, you introduce the man to the woman. "Sally this is my friend, Larry."
~When appropriate, add a fact or detail about them.
~Always make introductions, never assume people know each other.
~Shake hands firmly, but not so you hurt them.
~If you ever meet a dignitary, wait for them to extend their hand first.
Your Elders
~Respect older people
~Stand up when an older person enters the room
~Sit down at the dinner table after the older person does.
~Pass the food to the older person first.
~Older persons should choose the TV show.
~Get an older person’s coat and help them put it on.
~Open the door for an older person.
~Don’t point out an older person’s age (hair loss, gray hair, forgetfulness, wrinkles, etc.)
~Be interested in older people and ask them about their lives.
~Always be very kind and go out of your way for older people
Dating
~Do not take a date to a party if you weren't instructed to bring a guest.
~If you are invited to a wedding, you should not bring a date if the bride and groom do not know him or her. It is extremely rude.
~When a boy picks a girl up for a date, be on time.
~Do not sit in the car and honk the horn for your date to come out. Go up to the door to get her/him.
~Make an effort to meet your date’s parents.
~Boys are responsible for getting the girl home on time. If you are going to be late, call her parents and let them know.
Baby Sitting Manners
~When you get a baby-sitter, don’t make him/her do the housework unless it was part of the original deal.
~When you are babysitting, clean up the messes made while you are there.
Things to Remember
~Be happy. "God loves a cheerful giver."
~Character is molded within the family structure.
~When you are thoughtful each day, you build yours and others character.
~Keep an umbrella in your car.
~Share your umbrella if someone around you doesn’t have one
~Obey the law.
~If we are unwilling to wait out turn, we may be unable to receive the revelation of that which is most true and good and beautiful.
~There are plenty of irritating grains of sand in most of our shells; but if we learn to wrap them in patience, we may well find ourselves clothed in a new luster.
~One kindness extended today to just one person will make the world a more humane place.
~God gives you grace, but others won’t always do so.
~We can fan the hidden spark of goodness in another person until it bursts into flame.
~Others always carry in themselves more than meets the eye.
~Generosity has nothing to do with means and everything to do with desire.
~Your words can build up or tear down.
~It takes initiative to express respect for others.
~People deserve to be honored.
~Meanness goes hand in hand with immaturity.
~The more you learn about the world outside your own, the more tolerant and interested – and interesting – you’ll become.
~Sometimes choosing the righteous path could be lonely.
~A leader is someone who always makes things better.
~Well-mannered parents raise well-mannered children.
~After using the dryer, always clean out the lint filter.

Vineyard Ward Relief Society

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Girls' Night Out

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Discussion Group Report

Friday, August 24, 2007

Vineyard Ward RS Discussion Group

Monday, August 20, 2007

Welcome

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Manners to remember

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